We spent some time together last afternoon
While massaging her aching toenails,
I lazily tried to distract her with mundane stories
Then, she cried out in pain when I hit the parts connected to the joint
I continued, feeling as if it was normal
She said something which made me stop
I felt it direct to my heart
I felt it right to the core of my soul
"Kakak sayang mama? Kakak sayang mama banyak mana?"
"Kakak sayang mama banyak ke adik sayang mama banyak?"
" Mama rasa?"
"Emm....kakak sayang mama lebih."
Those were just bits and pieces of our talk.
I know I am not showing enough love and affection to her
I know I'm not the perfect daughter nor am I a good one
But somehow she knows that I love her more
And that very night, I feel like I'm missing her so much though we were simply separated by a room and some doors
I feel like I want to cry in her lap and sleep with her, just like we used to
If only it can be done without any other constraints
-anak mama yang tengah cengeng-